Asking Good Questions

 As a consultant engineer, I’ve found that an important skill to learn is asking good questions. If you want to understand your client’s real needs, you have to ask the right questions, and listen carefully to their responses, otherwise you can misunderstand what’s going on.  I’ve heard it said that there are no stupid questions, only stupid answers. In the context of learning from a teacher, that may be true, but more broadly in life, I think you have to be asking good questions, asking the right questions, in order to have the right focus and to be able to dig deeper in your understanding. So maybe there are stupid questions, or at least useless, or unhelpful questions.

Photo by Artem Maltsev on Unsplash

So, what are some features of a good question? (That’s a good question!). Let me offer up the following suggestions:

1. A good question seeks to understand.

I think this is the basic starting point for any good question. Why are you asking the question? If it’s not to understand what the other person knows or thinks, then it’s probably missing the point. We should always seek to understand and using good questions is a good way to do that.

2. A good question goes deeper.

Beyond just getting a factual answer, a good question doesn’t just scratch the surface, but actually digs deeper. Hand in hand with increasing your basic understanding, a good question can start to help you see the motivation, the feelings, and the heart behind the answer.

3. A good question is unbiased and does not prejudge.

Finally, a good question is offered in a way that allows the answerer to give an honest answer. If the question is loaded, or hiding some secret intent to catch out the person answering, just to make your point, then I wouldn’t call that a good question. It might be clever, but it’s not good. A good question doesn’t presuppose what the answerer is going to say. We can guess how they might answer, but we need to have a mind open to what they actually say. And then, if the answer needs further clarification, we go back to number 1, which is to again, seek to understand with a follow up question.  Simply, “why do you think that or say that?” is a great follow up.  Then just listen without criticism, and you’ll start to understand what the other person thinks.

So there are my 3 tips, or features of some good questions. Am I missing something?

Next blog I’m going to try asking some “good questions” and let’s see what you think.

Revving up your spiritual life with R.P.M.

I recently participated in a men’s retreat with some fellas from my church, at which I shared some thoughts on how to beef up your spiritual life using a simple three step approach. This is something I’ve been pondering for quite some time. It’s simple but can have a profound impact on your life if you do it. It has in my life, for sure.

If you want to shoot a target, there are the three simple steps of: Ready, Aim, Fire. You have to get the fundamentals right by getting yourself ready, and taking careful aim, before you then fire, otherwise you have little to no hope of hitting the target. A similar principle can be applied to our spiritual lives. If we want to hit the target there are steps we need to take.

In order to remember the steps, I’m using a three letter acronym: R. P. M.

If you do these three things you will grow spiritually and, in my opinion, live a fuller and more meaningful life. So let’s get started with the first letter, which is…

R = Read

The scriptures say “Be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” 

In order to do this we need to feed our minds with what is good and helpful for us to grow mentally and spiritually. I’d argue that the best way to do this is to read the Bible every day. There are many helpful reading plans, devotional readings, and a whole bunch of online materials to help you read the Bible. One of my favorite websites is the Bible Project. Check it out!

A secondary source of good fodder for our brains and souls is good books. I love several excellent Christian authors including: C.S. Lewis, A.W. Tozer, J.I. Packer, R.C. Sproul, and Francis Chan, to name but a few. So click on the links and check them out!

And finally, for those who complain that they don’t like reading, there are many good sources of teaching at Right Now Media, which many churches subscribe to. They often have the authors of books giving you the main messages from their books.  There are also audio Bibles and audio books, and of course many good podcasts which are great if you’re wanting to feed your mind whilst you’re driving. 

P = Pray

“Draw near to God and He will draw near to you”

As you’d expect, there are many scriptures that talk about praying, such as the one above in the letter from James, Jesus’ half brother, or in his first letter to the Thessalonians, Paul says we should “pray without ceasing.”

God is relational and in order to have a relationship with Him we need to first be reconciled to Him and then we need to grow by communicating with Him.  At a very basic level, prayer is simply talking with God. There are many different kinds of prayers and some good resources to help you learn how to pray effectively. One that I read not too long ago is The Battle Plan for Prayer. It was very good, but possibly the best book I’ve read on the topic, which opened my mind to different ways of praying, is “Nurturing a Passion for Prayer” from Navpress, though it looks like they no longer publish it, so get it from Amazon while you can!

When you pray, you can use Jesus’ model prayer (also known as the Lord’s Prayer) as a template. You can write prayers, particularly if you like to journal, or keep a diary. And possibly the best thing I learned was to pray scripture. There are many Psalms that can be used as prayers, but also many other sections of scripture to help you express how you feel with God.

My last recommendation for praying is to do it first thing every morning. Give God the first fruits of your day and you’ll see the rest of the day is radically better than when you don’t. Trust me on this and try it.

M = Move

“And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of our Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.”

You’ve read, you’ve prayed… now MOVE. Do something. Do something beyond yourself. Do something for a higher calling. Do whatever God lays on your heart to do and do it well.  Serve God and serve others. Be obedient to His call on your life and do it with passion.

As Switchfoot put it so eloquently in their song, I dare you to move!

So there you have it RPM - Read, pray, then move. Three actions that are simple to understand, but harder to do consistently. But just like shooting, you need to keep practicing if you want to hit the target.

How about you?